Moderation

Journal Entry from 11/20/2011:
The temperate man does not love with his whole heart and his whole soul, but he loves pretty much with his whole heart and whole soul. God is a thinker more than a feeler, so De encourages us to be a little logical at all times, and that slight detachment is the moderating influence, even regarding the noble sentiment of loving.

The lover is always an individualist first and foremost. The supreme virtue is self-love. This has nothing to do with cheap narcissism or being selfish. Where self-love is excessive and obsessive, it is transmogrified into self-loathing, a selfless trait. We are not to love ourselves excessively for that approach taints the soul. We are to love ourselves more than we hate ourselves. We always should and always will hate ourselves a bit, but moral victory is not doing this very much.

The virtuous man is a fairly rational. He will not love his soul mate with his whole heart and his whole soul, but he will love her mightily, permanently with a mature appreciation of her as a separate person called into this world to do her own thing too. This is not whole-hearted romantic love, but it does not burn out like that meteor either.

The virtuous man,  in his love of God and love coming back from God, experiences powerful but not wholesale love. Wholesale love is too extreme, too ideal, too demanding of perfect devotion. Such violent, noisy, melodramatic and over-committed attachment smothers the recipient, robbing her of her desire to  be independent and free-thinking. It is not sustainable over time.

Such volatile love clouds the relationship with misspeaking and misperception. Such love can lead to love being subverted by the will to control the other and subjugate her.

The perfect love (or as perfect as we can make it) is a strong, passionate but not maudlin, overwrought, wholesale love. The lover needs to calm down a bit. He needs to be a little logical about it, giving the other a little space and say.

Theology of Moderate Loving:

Fate is the Paradox and only Being that can love wholly and hate wholly at the same time.

God mostly loves and hates very little.

Satan mostly hates and loves very little.

Our task is to love more than we hate. We are to love but avoid extremist poses for that undermines our noble efforts.