Feeling Guilty

 

On Page 107 of his book, The Passionate State of Mind, Eric Hoffer writes one entry which I quote and comment upon/

 

Hoffer: “          190

 

The mortification born of a shameful act does not usually last long. With most people it passes in forty-eight hours. And yet each mortification as it passes leaves a stain and blemish on our feeling of well-being.”

 

My response: I believe that self-esteem is wholesome self-love, and that we should gain and keep self-esteem by limiting feeling guilty, that we should spend less time feeling guilty and more time being proud of who we are. Of course, this means that we are honest, realistic and fair to ourselves in our self-appraisal; it is permissible to feel proud of ourselves, if we have been acting ethically.

 

We do not feel guilty or not feel guilty neither dishonestly, inaccurately nor based upon self-abuse. If we have sinned, and especially a mortal sin, then we should feel guilty, make amends, and cease doing to negative behavior. Our self-esteem has taken a ding and it should have.

 

Hoffer is likely indicating that we can lie to ourselves on the surface of our consciousnesses and get away with doing evil, while claiming to be proud of ourselves, not feeling guilty, and even doubling down on sin militantly to show that we are righteous when we are not, but inside we have a suppressed moral sense that it not pleased with our evil-doing, and self-deception.

 

We need to be realistic with the self, have a strong conscience and work moral code to live by, which we do live by. Being a person of integrity who is unable and unwilling to live with a self who sins so continuously and grievously without any attempt at self-reform, means that that moral and holy person is one who one must feel proud of one’s character, will and efforts. This one self-insists that one behave for that is consistent with proper self-pride, with an openly known and heeded moral sense that is satisfied with the self’s performance, when one is honorably living in accordance with this self-image, so happiness is available to one, as long as one behaves.

 

Hoffer is right that each mortification round leaves a stain on our conscience, so increasingly our sense of happiness and good will wither, and unhappiness, resentment, self-loathing and a self-repulsion are the products of feeling guilty about our sins.

 

Hoffer: “Thus gradually an undercurrent of self-contempt begins coursing within us, and now and then it leaks out in bitterness and hatred toward others. It is in the rare moments when we have a particular reason to be satisfied with ourselves that we realize the depression and dejection secreted in us by a guilty conscience.”

 

My response: Hoffer the egoist-individualist moralist notes how doing evil and feeling guilty do gradually pervade the whole will and consciousness of the mature, invested, active, unrepentant sinner. Self-contempt or self-loathing leak out in bitterness and hatred toward others.

 

Hoffer clearly here identifies doing evil, building a permanently damaged bad will, and always and realistically if feeling guilty and wretched below the surface, with an increase in selflessness and self-contempt, and self-loathing, being evil, seeps out inevitably as evil intent and treatment of others, to export our bitterness and hatred for temporary relief.

 

Hoffer knew people were born depraved, born selfless, self-sacrificing, self-hating and group-oriented, so, if they willfully chose to sin and hurt themselves and others, over and above all of these social and biological burdens or restrictions holding them down and back, then they would feel depressed and dejected over sporting a deserved guilty conscience.

 

Note that he points out that naturally people rarely have a reason to be satisfied with themselves, because they have been, for a change, kind and decent. They have no proper pride, no self-esteem because of their constant sinning. They are guilty and they know it. They deal with this suppressed realization of not be going good, but by doing more and more evil over a period of years.

 

Altruism is immorality, hurting others because one has sinned first against the self, nature, and the expectations from the Good Spirits.