Gaslighter

 

One of the plans of reform I am personally working on is to bring to my current workplace, a new model of union employee—I am a union steward at a small, private institution in the Twin Cities.

As technology rapidly advances, upgrades and changes, the building engineer gig is transforming, the job description is evolving. My descriptive phrase for it is we are becoming intellectual, blue-collar workers. By this I mean we do the repairs and replacements of equipment and mechanical systems, but we are also assessing damage, planning and scheduling repairs, are ordering our own parts, using p-cards to order parts and then electronically submitting receipts to billing. We plan projects, get the parts, do the work and then close out work orders on our smart phones. Our building automation system is quite sophisticated. My premise is a new generation of technical workers requires their being highly skilled, versatile thinkers and constantly retraining, employees who are also individuating supercitizens apiece: this is the best way to grow these needed smart workers for tomorrow’s marketplace.

I like working in a union shop and being a union activist for I regard this as a test lab or my introduction into the work place of the intellectual blue-collar worker who is really a developing anarchist individuating supercitizen. There is no better way to democratize the work place. There is no better way to develop skilled workers. Resulting too would be a huge upswing in increased compensation, employee morale and motivation to work hard and well.

I have communicated some of this to my Employer and they are not having it at all. They are quite backwards in their Management style. They have tried to fire me many times, but no luck so far. I have been too nimble and too good a counter-puncher for them to prevail up to this time. Now I may have met my match. They just hired a seasoned gaslighter to take me out, and he is a resolved, formidable adversary.

The supervisor hates me and wants to be rid of me, so he just hired a big, extroverted, very group-oriented, bullying narcissist to work next to me, to boss me and ride me, to spy on me, to cut me down constantly and to harass me continually.

I have grayrocked this bully and backed him off, and the other members of my night crew are more friendly and more-live-and-let-live.

This narcissist was brought in to take me out, and I speculate he is so suited for this role because this is not his first rodeo as a Management thug. He has done this at other work places, been a snitch and management enforcer for which he has been rewarded, promoted for his loyalty to Management. Each shift is painful to work with him, but I am getting by. I work alone as much as I can, and I take breaks by myself and minimize contact with him and set boundaries. I do not fight with or argue with him for engaging with a narcissist is to validate his love of fighting, and to set me up for discipline trouble for fighting, which I am avoiding.

I think this man is vicious and hates me with a passion, though he is a recent hire and I have done nothing to him. I do not bully or boss him or haze him as a newbie, but, for a guy on probation, he does not fear saying controversial, oppositional things. He wants to argue, fight, get into my affairs and straighten me out, eager for the chance even. He had to have been sent by the supervisor and HR to take me out. He has been this toxic and hostile right from the first hour of working there.

By the way, the group of engineers against me on my shift are three black immigrants and an American black supervisor, so I assume reverse racism against a white male is at work here. There are other reasons they despise me and want me gone. I do not suck up to the supervisor. I am a strong trade union activist, building up Local 70, a real thorn in Management’s side, and these fellow engineers curry favor with Management if and as they work against me. I am also 71 and ½ years old and there is likely some age discrimination occurring. Mostly, as a practicing individuator and supercitizen, I am antithetical to these conformist, nonindividuators who conform to whatever Management wants, so they want me out for that reason too. Then I am a political and cultural conservative, and all of these black engineers are liberals or leftists, so that is a source of tension too.

Now, when I take a break with the other engineers, our conversation is friendly and casual, and goes along normal lines. He, the gaslighter, is in the room, and is dead silent when I am there, looking at his smart phone for a 30 minute break.

When he is alone with the other engineers he is chatting and laughing nonstop. He wants to do the same with me, not out of friendliness and extroverted bonhomie, but aggressive to gain control over me, to get under my gray rocking defense barrier so that he can start gaslighting, bossing, kibitzing and nitpicking non-steop.

When I have a neutral, mutual conversation, casual and without consequence or without guards up—no need to—he will not participate. He will only talk if I let my guard down and allow him to argue with me about everything, intrude in my work space, assignments, and home life.

What this has revealed to me is that a workplace bully and management enforcer is a groupist, a pure groupist, a narcissist who seeks the power of powerlessness over others. I am the most independent and individualistic, so the supervisor, HR and he desperately desire to isolate, hassle, drive out or expel me by any means possible.

The other engineers, likely more on his side than mine, after three years, know they cannot evict me so either they are friendly or just pretend to be friendly—a bit of both—so we can let our guards down a bit and talk normally, enjoy each other’s company, get the work done, get through the shift, get our money and go home—no more or less than that.

This bully, thug and gaslighter, will have the casual, friendly conversation with them, because HR and the supervisor have ordered him to leave them alone for now—at least until I am removed--so he does. He has been coached and ordered to make it unpleasant for me and to get me out of there, and he really is eager to do so, indicating he is a real demon doing it because he enjoys destroying an individualist in the workplace for his own dark reasons as well as for promised rewards from management for doing their dirty work for them.

Now I classify the conversational pattern between the other second shift engineers and me, the healthy, causal, inconsequential, open, relaxed conversations as having some distinct if implicit linguistic and communicative premises or rules at work. First, operating here is the power model, the power of powerfulness, where people do not use conversation and communication to set up group pecking order games, ranking establishment, sadomasochistic power rankings and repression of the individuality of all individuals working there. People are roughly workplace and social equals and it is cooperative and live and let live. The communication interchange is peaceful and to keep the peace.

The narcissist bullying gas lighter is radically refusing to use this style of language use and communicative interaction conversationally when I am present in the group. It indicates that he refuses to communicate in a way that is friendly, individualistic, without power struggles and games, and he seeks to eliminate the positive power of powerfulness, the wonderful way of communicating that super citizens like me use in institutional roles.

He will only talk to me with linguistic and conversational patterns where conflict, fighting, gaslighting and bullying are primary foci. He seeks to invade my space, to belittle all that I am and do to be up along side me all the time like a drill sergeant to get me working harder running and pushed out or fired via corrective discipline.

He is signaling that he will not leave off resorting to the sick groupist power of powerlessness, the collectivist-altruist, groupist pattern of communicating. That power patter is the one power and linguistic model of communication favored by people in institutions which are tyrannies where belongers are exploited, abused, oppressed with their rights violated: therein, bosses are abusive dictators, rewarding ins and disfavoring outs, which a rigid pecking order set up and reinforced. All suffer and none flourish as they could if well-treated and encouraged.

The gaslighter is signaling that eventually he will wear me down get inside my grayrocking defenses; then he will attack me in earnest, then start tearing me down to my face and in front of others grabbing my thoughts, my say, the good name of my work and my very presence in the job sight. He is a hater and an emotional parasite and cannibal.

The only conservation he will have is the sick, divisive one, no mutually respect and keeping the peace and upgrading all. I don't know how long I will last there but I have built up this union and have a chance so I will seek to last and not be run out thought this corrupt, narcissist bully gas lighter, my hardcore enemy, a deeply cruel person. I may end up quitting or moving to another shift, but I will stand it as long as I can.

Again, he instinctively participates in a conversation that is friendly and safe with a great soul on his shift (me) only if I allow him to invade my privacy, my work space, to supervise and boss me while I do my work orders. He will not be just one of the boys among equals. He is real power hungry and very intrusive disallowing worker individual independence, privacy, alone time and space.

He wants to be with me all the time, not out of friendliness, but to gain control of me—his extroversion is aggressive and hostile, not friendly. He is very groupist, very conformist, and he is so eager to enforce the Management perspective for personal gain and to have a chance to unload his sadistic anger and resentment about being born upon an individualist, a natural outsider and scapegoat who he needs to target to assuage his self-loathing, quite a nasty, sick, dangerous peer.

The gaslighter instinctively, slyly has figured out to refuse to use that positive language and power model which detracts from his mission: to grow his institutional power and gain reward with Management by undercutting me, a dissident.

By contrast, healthy coworkers individualists will dare to be open and express their opinions and individuality, casually expressing their opinions, without anyone out to dominate, snitch, retaliate or suppress so where benevolent language and worker power changes are beneficial to al, that state of existence will be corresponded to with language and conversation of the positive kind.

On the other hand, the narcissist scapegoater abuses himself and others by kissing ass above and kicking ass below as all joiner victims are in turn victimizers, as all live in pain and low self-esteem their hatred cementing their tight-knit, pack pecking order. This pecking order functions within the work hierarchy. No individualism is allowed: all conform, groupthink, group-speak and all spy on all all the time.

That such work place suffering and unhappiness is the workday story is matched by the prevalence, the presence of the corresponding power of powerlessness model of power-sharing, with its accompanying, dysfunctional language and communication interactions.

None of this meshes with the supercitizen, individualistic worker way of communicating—the power of powerfulness--which I am promoting. The gaslighter likely would not admit to any of this if I confronted him with it but he is living it and expressing it every day, these conversational patterns of the group vs the individual are very ancient, archetypal subconscious and powerful, repeating universal patterns of power sharing and power quarreling.