Tonight, I went to an account to pick up some couried packages after closing. They usually leave a vestibule door unlocked, and then I go and knock to get into the locked inner door. Tonight, the first time in 6 months, they locked all the doors, flat locking me out of the building.
I knocked on a window and a loan officer came and let me in. He said defensively, "It was not my fault--it was her screw up." He was half apologetic and half ready to argue with me.
Now a courier is in a hurry, and must stay on schedule, so the last thing I needed was to bog down, assigning blame.
I assured him: "I am not interested in fault--I just want to keep things moving. Besides, logistics are always messy."
He smiled and calmed down. The very nice black lady bringing the courier boxes brought me a metal sealed can of M&Ms, and a bottle of water. She apologized for locking me out. I said, no problem.
I turned to the banker and asked them to lock me out tomorrow night--that way she would bring me some Christmas cookies. They laughed--I said good bye and moved on.
I learned that trick four years ago as a Maintenance Technician. When things went wrong, people want to blame someone. I move quickly to get them beyond obsessing about who is to blame, and why they screwed up. I just want to expedite things, clear the ticket and move forward. Not assigning blames avoids fruitless arguments.
For serious screw ups or terrible misbehavior, blame must be assigned and punishment meted out. For the little stuff, blow it off.
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