The Close Relative

People hate me for speaking the truth, and telling them things about themselves that they have long repressed. They do not want to be told that they are basically evil. They do not want to be told that they are lazy, selfish, cowardly mediocrities. They do not want to be called sinners, or that God is unhappy about the poor choices that they have made.

When you talk to people the way I do, it is an infallible technique for being scrubbed off of all social call lists.

If leaving the group is the instinctive preference of an angel, that angel is basically good. If not leaving the group is biological alternative almost always elected by humans, then humans are basically evil.

That is my value system. God is an individual and love the Self first and foremost. To self-realize is to do good and be a creative force in the universe.

Satan is a pure joiner, the leader of the pack, and Sa's self-loathing is a bottomless pit of endless, inescapable self-revulsion. Satan takes advantage of our biological selection of grouping, avoiding the self, keeping selves evil by keeping them stunted, miserable and undeveloped.

Let me turn to a phone call with a close relative last night. I called her, and the high property taxes in Minnesota came up in the conversation, and I complained about paying in $6,200 in property taxes, and then shelling out an extra $1200 over above paycheck withholdings to sate the State's bottomless greed.

She interrupted me with a cutting remark: "They do not like you, do they." Well, on the face of it, that remark is irrational, because the state does not know me personally, and their tax extortion goes against everyone.

If you knew my siblings and their 60 year old genetic and historical practice of being a tight clique, with me as the perennial, excluded outsider to serve endlessly as their whipping boy, you would know that the remark bears easy translation: "People everywhere do not like you because your are a whiny loser and reject. Everyone turns on you, and everyone goes against you. You deserve what you get, and it is all your fault, because your are such a jerk."

Being the mouthy rebel that I am, I quickly retorted: "Nobody likes me. But they do not have any taste either."

That ended the conversation, and I hung up. My folks set up this destructive and sick sibling rivalry in the 50s and 60s.

My family life is my blessing and my curse. The suffering and loneliness are the curse. The blessing is that I am a pure individualist that cannot fit in anywhere, no matter what I do or say. This exiled existence that been God's tough love gift to me, to propel me down the road to self-realization.

Thank you God for your many gifts. I would not have it any other way. As for my siblings, I forgive them, while refusing to take any guff from them. I wish them well, and will try to keep the peace if they try to keep the peace. It is the best to be hoped for.

I owe them an incomparable debt. They nudged me down the road to Mavellonialism. Perhaps that is the gift that God wanted me to share with the world.