Blaming The Victim

 

Whatever is going on in the life of a smart, sane, healthy adult is the fault of that person, and I blame this victim no matter how tough she is being treated or has been treated in the past.

 

I anticipate the howls of rage and disbelief in advance, and, while refuting the accusatory push back, I understand why I am being attacked as cruel, foolish, mad, or ignorant.

 

In part I believe what I say that each person must rescue herself and only she can save herself, no matter how mistreated she is been afflicted or suffered in the past. In part blaming the accuser is true, and it is more his fault than her fault.

 

Still, I repeat: I blame the victim primarily, be it objectively so or not, in order that we move away from collectivist, fatalistic categories of injustice, dividing people into victimizers and victims, owners and slaves, and oppressors and oppressed.

 

Personal moral and spiritual salvation is an individualistic accomplishment. We wish to shock the abused victim, to get her attention, and then imploringly and invitingly exhort her to take control of her situation, to end her victim status. If she needs to shoot her victimizer or get on a bus and disappear into some mountain community in Alberta and start over an anonymous life, or prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law, she must fight back hard, now, with force and conviction to win a permanent improvement in her condition. If he kills her while resisting, then at least she will be rewarded in the next world, and she will know that she took crap off of no one any longer.

 

To move beyond the blame syndrome, to effect real change, to gain self-control and a chance to self-realize in freedom with positive power and enjoy her liberty to marry or not, to have children or not, to individuate or not, to serve God or not,  she now and for the rest of her life insists that she is in charge of her life and destiny: she has internal control of her affairs—not anyone out there.

 

Now she is positive, powerful and in charge, and she can change the world or at least herself.