Self-Esteem

 

I watched a 5-minute Prager U video, narrated by Matt Walsh; its title was, Why Self-Esteem is Self-Defeating, narrated on 9/14/17. I took notes on the video and will comment on them.

 

Walsh: “I have no self-esteem. I don’t have low self-esteem. I don’t dislike myself. I don’t have a problem with my self-image.  Self-esteem is a fantasy—it does not exist, or exists only in your imagination.”

 

My response: Note that Walsh asserts that he does not suffer from low self-esteem, so he indirectly admits that that exists, but high self-esteem is just a mental construct that doesn’t exist.

 

As an egoist-individualist, I assert that self-esteem exists and that we should cultivate high-self-esteem, and through this conduct and focus, we come to love ourselves, and through that love others and the world. If one wishes to call self-esteem self-respect, a good attitude, self-confidence, self-love or self-regard, those synonyms are acceptable. We need to perceive ourselves, without a bias, pro or con, as we are, and enjoy what is wholesome and solid, and seek to better ourselves where we are flawed or weak.

 

Where we are solid and productive, we should value ourselves, and where we fall down, we should admit it, and then strive to be more loving, industrious, kind, creative and productive.

 

Self-esteem is to be earned by accomplishing things in the world, not just be attributing that status to oneself unearned when one is an undeveloped, unhealthy, toxic mess. We cannot do anything, but we can do a lot, and we are to accept ourselves as we are, at least those parts of ourselves that are worthy and admirable right now.

 

Walsh: “To esteem is to admire. That we should admire ourselves.  Someone asks who you admire, and you answer I admire myself. You feel good about yourself, and have high self-esteem and feel good about myself.

 

I asked my teacher why should I have high self-esteem. She answered because you are special. Why am I special: because you are you. Be proud of yourself even where there is not reason to be proud of yourself. Self-esteem is about confidence and a positive outlook, so you can succeed it life. Self-esteem is a racket.

 

My response: I want people to practice bolstering their self-esteem as a psychological perception of themselves, an expression of self-love, but it has nothing to do with being narcissistic, conceited or bragging, or their contraries, self-put-down, too modest, saying negative things about oneself, that one is unworthy. Self-esteem is lived when one is self-realizing loving the self, God and others, it is not just thin, smug sloganeering and meretricious bromides expressed about the self.

 

Self-esteem is real and it is for the self, not for others approval or disapproval. It has to do with fighting to be a developing individual, it is not about seeing the world as a boon or a curse—it is merely a stage setting where one can play one’s heroic role as a first hander.

 

Walsh: “Just call self-esteem self-confidence, but confidence must be earned. Narcissists have high self-esteem.  He esteems himself on the basis of nothing.  Why a high self-regard: because I am me. Traditionally, it did not matter how you felt about yourself, but what you did.”

 

My response: Yes, confidence must be earned. It is okay to be undeveloped and a novice as a teenager that talks positively of high self-esteem but one must work hard and discipline the daylight out of the self for days, months and years in order that one grows spiritually, emotionally, ethically, intellectually, creatively and in courage, love and wisdom.

 

The bogeyman of self-esteem that is ridiculed by Prager, Peterson, Walsh and other Judeo-Christian altruists is a superficial, pompous, empty windbag versions of someone with high self-esteem, whereas the need to boast, flaunt one’s putative superiority by building the self up while putting neighbors down is actually the rantings and tomfoolery instantiated by a person with low self-esteem that must struggle so mightily to demonstrate that he is superior, when in fact he is an noisy, insubstantial fool.

 

My response: I envision that the Good Spirits, maverizers of very high self-esteem, want humans to esteem themselves in action by self-realizing every day, growing and becoming for a lifetime, a gift of service and self-sacrifice to God, making actual one’s potential growing God’s kingdom here in this world as cosmos expand and chaos shrinks a bit. As the maverizer advances and advances over a period of years, her ingrained good will and increasing power and talent will lead to her almost naturally self-developing as a self-fulfilling prophecy. She has earned her high self-esteem, but, even then, she would not brag and pull rank around less developed mortals, or expect them to genuflect, worship her, grant her special favors or status. The Mother and Father want their great souls on earth to be of high self-esteem, but not to strut around, or wear it on their sleeves. That would be rude and unbecoming social behavior.

 

Walsh: “I told my Dad that I would not do my math assignment because it would make me feel bad about myself. His Dad suggested that he study more at math so he would feel good not bad.

 

Self-esteem jargon is harmful: I am special—I will love myself—You get points for breathing dogma.

 

Insecurity and self-doubt can be self-defeating but they may drive yo to do better. Self-esteem prevents improvement, because we admit we are flawed, we have not reason to grow. Seeing what you are not good at will hurt your self-esteem.  You will end up self-hating not low self-esteem. Do not think about self-esteem, just do good things with your life and you will have all the self-esteem that you need.”

 

My response: I have always argued that one be as truthful as one can be about oneself, including one’s sins, flaws, mistakes, and deficits, as well as one competencies and admirable characteristics. To face what one is, and then aim to be able to enjoy high self-regard—these are not incompatible aims as long as one works to better oneself always, where one is admirable but wants to improve a bit more, and to curb some of one’s sinning and flaws, slowing getting a little better. If one tries and improves a bit, that is a fine developmental and moral, personal victory, earned not just self-assumed, and one then is able to esteem the self a bit.

 

I just took some notes of the Internet about self-esteem and I will comment on what I read and noted: “ You are not to seek approval from others too much, and do not avoid risks for fear of failure. Avoid all-or-nothing thinking at things are all good or all bad. Do not overgeneralize for your mistake is not your whole life.”

 

My response: these tips are useful, ad you identify your mistake and work to improve yourself. You are worthy of a better life that you deserve but it will not be given to you—you have to work hard to go after it and become it.

 

Internet: “Think long-term. Follow through. Be Fearless, Do the right thinking. Monitor your projects and get things done. Be neither a self-deprecatory narcissist or a grandiose narcissist

 

My response: we need to be at peace and moderate in our moods, actions, and indulgence.

 

Internet: “Explore yourself. Take the time you need for yourself. Believe you matter and are good enough. Believe you deserve happiness. Do not feel hopeless and worthless, blaming yourself unfairly. (Learn to do things a bit at a time, slowly doing more being more competent –I add.)

 

Replace your negative self-talk with positive self-talk. If esteem the self, one is more skilled, more kind do better socially. Be neither arrogant and self-indulgent nor feeling inferior. Strike a balance.

 

My response:  Self-esteem is quite confidence more than loud prattling.

 

 

You cannot do anything and be everything, but you can do a lot and be a lot if you believe you can and then get after it for a lifetime.

 

Self-esteem is not uncritical self-acceptance no matter how criminal, sinful, lazy, and unaccomplished one is. You must accept who you are and where you are at, and then work to get to where you prefer the self to be, and that undertaking is self-esteem in planning and action, and later as materialized success. I believe self-esteem starts as a belief but can become one’s lived reality if one has become a good person, of talent, art, kindness and good will whose first hander existence is now an inner reality perceived by others out there socially.

 

You should live ethically so your conscience is clear and clean, and you can feel good about yourself and your high self-esteem is matched by your record in the world. Travel with God and asks the Good Spirits and other humans to warn one if one’s is going astray so that one can correct one’s misbehavior in time.

 

Self-esteem is compatible with living right as an objective egoist more than as a subjective egoist or subjective altruist. We neither flatter, put down or lie to the self, for truth and self-appraisal must correspond necessarily one-to-one without distortion or mismatch.

 

One has self-esteem and advocates the wholesome benefits of self-esteem when one maverizes and individual-lives, and shares roughly equal political, economic, social power relations with all seeking to abuse none and be abused by none, to enslave and have power over none, nor allow others to have power over one or tyrannize and enslave one.

 

If run in packs with all the vying for power and rank and popularity in the various social hierarchies with endless power struggles and sadomasochistic games  of struggle and useless, destructing competing—that makes all involved have low self-esteem and high self-loathing. It all should be chucked.

 

Dennis Prager, Matt Walsh, and Jordan Peterson have nothing but contempt for self-esteem psychology—well, when it is practiced by nonindividuating, faddish trends by group-living unreflective joiners, why would it not give self-esteem a bad name? It could be that deep altruists like these three as saying that high end individualism comes about through modest demeanor, strong scholarship and ethical growth.

 

Still, their altruistic moral code, and their natural altruistic instincts an evil, selfish because selfless instinct, could be pushing these men to overlook the benefits to self-esteem theory, where egoists take self-esteem theory  out of the hands of the pop psychologists and give it  Mevellonialist interpretation.

 

Then we could like ourselves as we have a right to as merited and we can refuse to dislike ourselves just because we are feeling down on ourselves, our self-recriminations should be based on what we have done, misdeeds, sins, flaws, crimes, clean up our act right away. You will no longer be selfish, lazy, or cruel. You will adopt good manners to treat yourself, others and God with courtesy, friendliness, dignity and respect and if you can make people feel good about themselves without flattering manipulating or deceiving  them, do so.

 

You need to take control as much as you can, and that stoically endure what you cannot control, and then be at peace with outcomes.

 

Seek to be strong, and lessen where you are weak.

 

You are your mistakes but you will learn from them and become successful.

 

You can be proud of yourself where you have done well, and then be ashamed of yourself where you have sinner, done nothing or just chased mindless pleasure, learn from you failings and do better. To feel worthy, live a noble lifestyle, and then you honestly can feel worthy and taken some earned pride yin how you have grown and learned to heave.

 

You can learn to believe in yourself if you follow up by maverizing.

 

Love yourself and love others but make yourself attractive and lovable, and enjoy others as much as you can.